The Screenwryter's Toolbox Read online

  Italics tease the reader. Italics say “There's something important about 'the docks' but I'm not going to tell you what it is Mister Reader. I guess you'll have to keep reading. Wink Wink.”

  SIDE NOTE: Only amateur readers will enjoy being teased with italicized words. Seasoned, jaded readers will tell you to “fuck off with your italic bullshit, I've got five more scripts to get through today.”

  When writing dialogue remember that it needs to be spoon fed to your reader with punctuation. Let's ask Christopher Walken if he agrees:

  “I agree, with you. Dialogue is meant, to be, spoon fed, to the reader.” Thanks Chris.

  And if you're unsure about where to put commas into action description, just throw them in wherever they feel right. No one remembers that bullshit 11th grade English-class nonsense.

  SIDE NOTE: Emoticons should only be used sparingly in 21st century screenwriting. And remember to utilize the winky face when trying to bang your coworker. ; )

  PARENTHETICALS

  Now that you've learned how to write GOOD dialogue and how it should appear on the page, it is time to discuss the most important element of dialogue: The parenthetical.

  Punctuation allows the writer to phonetically show the reader how to read the dialogue but that still does not express emotion. The challenge is therefore to make emotion clear to the reader who (quick reminder) is apathetic, bored, or (best case scenario) simply an idiot.

  In order to discuss how to clue the reader into a character's emotional state through dialogue, let's use an example:

  SARAH: Oh my goodness Tiffany, I love your dress.

  As a reader, how is this line going to be interpreted? Well I guess Sarah is a big fan of Tiffany's dress...

  However, if you're trained in screenwriting or you've ever spoken to a woman before, you know that's not true.

  Sarah hates Tiffany's dress. It's tacky and makes her butt look flat. Plus, Sarah knows Tiffany has been talking shit behind her back. Sarah might not be able to prove it but Kayla said Tiffany laughed at a joke Lauren made even though it wasn't funny but just passive aggressive which doesn't make sense because Sarah supported Tiffany emotionally when Lukas broke up with her.

  Now, how do we convey all of the trivial emotions Sarah is juggling with our single line of dialogue? We have a couple options. The first is to use action description:

  The action description makes it clear Sarah finds Diane's dress to be tacky and her words are therefore disingenuous. And while this may seem like a suitable option, let's look at what the reader noticed as he or she was speedreading the script:

  “Sarah... dress... noticing... patterns...” And the reader's phone is ringing and they still have three emails to answer and the hot intern asked if they wanted to get lunch so what does that mean, should they make a move?

  Point is, the reader didn't catch very much.

  So how do you drive home that Sarah is a fake friend whose insecurities are causing her to be passive aggressive? The answer is the “parenthetical.” Every writer's dream.

  Remember that before every line of dialogue you're allowed to put a couple words inside a parenthesis to indicate how the line should be said. For example:

  Problem solved. And while this get-out-of-jail-free card was originally invented so brainless actors knew how to say their lines, that doesn't mean you can't use parentheticals to help the readers who are far too ugly to ever act. Parentheticals are the key to giving dialogue emotion.

  Not sure how to convey a character is disingenuous? Parenthetical.

  Don't want the action description to seem heavy handed? Parenthetical.

  Hungover and on a tight deadline? Parenthetical.

  Parentheticals can even be used to suggest feelings in addition to tone. For instance:

  Now it's the actor's, director's, and editor's problem figuring out how to convey that Sarah is insecure. Best of luck gentlemen, if you need me I'll be tanning poolside with my phone off.

  TRANSITIONS

  All screenwriters know that transitions exist in screenplays. CUT TO. DISSOLVE TO. FADE OUT. STAR WIPE. These terms are used to indicate how to transition from one scene to the next.

  So how do you, as a master level craftsman, utilize these tools?

  The answer is, of course, that you don't.

  Transitions serve no purpose. It's not the screenwriter's job to say how to transition between scenes. If you really feel like micromanaging, why not write a transition for every shot in the movie? Moulin Rouge had roughly 1800 different shots. Did the screenwriter feel the need to write “CUT TO” 1800 times? Of course not.

  Keep in mind that the odds of your screenplay being produced are .01%, so who cares if one scene crossfades into the next.

  Your job as the screenwriter is to create and sell a compelling screenplay. After that, it's not your problem. For all you care, each scene could begin and end with a flaming swastika ejaculating glitter. Leave it to the director and editor who won't do anything fancy because they're too busy figuring out how to show all those parentheticals you've written.

  Remember that your script is not a movie, it is a suggestion.

  “This is what I think a good movie would look like.”

  That's all your screenplay is. And when executives purchase your screenplay they are saying “I agree with you to the extent that I don't disagree with you” which is a polite way of saying “we'll keep the premise and scrap the rest.”

  Filmmaking is a collaborative process. Everyone has a unique vision for the project in their head and in order to create their vision, they must destroy yours. So don't use transitions. Let the editor create his vision of the project by deciding how to edit the movie. Just like the rich white executive created his vision for the project by casting the Rock, setting the 3rd act in Shanghai, and cashing in on the Asian market.

  Accepting what you can and cannot control is what will cause people to label you as “easy to work with” and that will allow you to find future work.

  But remember to mind your semantics because there is a very thin line between “easy to work with” and a “yes-man.” No one likes yes-men.

  “Oh I agree, let's forget what I said and do it your way!” -Pushover Yes-Man (No one likes this guy)

  “I think both options are suitable however I can see how your option might be more accessible to the audience and I'm open to moving forward with it.” -Easy To Work With (Fruitful Career)

  You are writers. Semantics are your craft. Understand what you can control and what you cannot control and choose your words accordingly.

  SIDE NOTE: You pretty much cannot control anything.

  SIDE SIDE NOTE: I feel like I went off on a bit of a tangent. Just don't use transitions.

  SOUND EFFECTS

  The last on-the-page concern to discuss is the use of sound effects in your screenplay. Sometimes shortened to SFX, sound is an important part of filmmaking. After all, movies are nothing more than images with sound. So sounds are technically 50% of movies! They probably shouldn't even be called screenplays, they should be called screen and speaker plays!

  Enough levity. Let's look at a couple examples of sounds from movies:

  BBBBBWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW

  Sound familiar? It's from the soundtrack to the movie Inception. The van cascades slowly to the river below as the occupants go deeper into the dream world. All the while being barraged with...

  BBBBBWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW

  Or what about this one:

  Da dun. Da dun. Dan dun, da dun, da dun.

  It's Jaws!

  Or The Pink Panther I suppose.

  The point is that some of the most memorable moments from film are created with sounds. But how do you put sound and music into your screenplay at the master level? Let's start with the basic level:

  There is the basic level. The SFX term has been used to tell the reader that sounds are being heard. As a result our action description is boring. Unelevated. Shitty.
/>   You are storytellers, master craftsmen, artists. The canvas is your page. Words are your paintbrush. Prose is your paint and your easel is probably also words.

  What you want to do is suggest what your viewer will be hearing by working it into your prose. Let's try again, this time incorporating some of that style from the Action Description chapter.

  SIDE NOTE: If you don't remember the Action Description section don't re-read it. In fact don't even flip back and skim it. Just return the book to whatever garage sale you stole it from and stop wasting your time.

  Anyway, Rocky has to hear a sound so let's get to that:

  Using capitalized words is an effective way to show sound effects without typing out SFX like an amateur. Some helpful words:

  CRASH! BOOM! POW! SHAZAM! SHIZZLE! TICK-TOCK! KA-POW! PA-COW! WAH-WAH! NEIGH! CLIP CLOP! KA-CHING! WAKKA-WAKKA! BLING-BLONG! RIZZLE-RAZZLE!

  And what about music?

  If you want to put music in your screenplay a good rule of thumb is to not put music in your screenplay. The problem with music is this: Copyrights. People own music.

  Now I know what you're thinking: People can't technically own anything. The world was here before us and will exist after we're gone.

  And I agree. But for the sake of argument, let's assume Paul McCartney is not going to let you use “Let it Be” during your screenplay's climatic scene.

  So unless you'd like to triple your budget to have the right background music, leave all music out of your screenplay. Because, as we've learned before: that's the editor's problem.

  What about older music that is in the public domain? Maybe your character is listening to Tchiakovsky's Minuet in A minor?

  Don't include it. The reason: No reader will know what song you're talking about.

  The proof: Tchiakovsky never wrote a minuet in A minor.

  Further proof: I misspelled Tchaikovsky twice and you didn't notice. Are your minds blown with what I just did? Perhaps you're hearing a certain sound effect in your head right now:

  BBBBBWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW

  PART II

  MASTER LEVEL SCREENWRYTING

  MAIN CHARACTER

  The first thing the reader is going to learn about your main character is his name. Or, if you're still in denial... HER name.

  The goal of a character's name is to make the reader associate that name with the attributes of your character. For instance, if you have a nerd character, you might consider naming him Dewey. Or if you have a muscular dimwit, maybe name him Marko. If you have a douchebag you might name him Reese like the guy I knew in the 10th grade who was a complete tool.

  Since you are naming your protagonist, you want the reader to associate him with leading men. For this reason, I recommend naming your main character by combining the names of two leading men in Hollywood.

  Perhaps combine Clive Own and Hugh Jackman into Clive Jackman.

  Clive has an air of worldly sophistication and Jackman sounds like it might have quasi-sexual implications.

  I could write for hours on how to properly construct a character with depth and humanity. But this is a screenplay and if your dialogue is ever read in front of a camera, it's going to be done by a lingerie model who took an improv class or an empty-headed thespian who can barely remember his PIN number.

  With that in mind, the key to a strong main character is to make them viable in the marketplace.

  You've got a story about a depressed, agoraphobic, 79-year-old man whose journey explores all elements of the human experience? That's great. No one wants to see that.

  Make him 32, give him an unkempt but still sexy beard and a best friend who either smokes pot or is a talking animal. Bonus points for a talking animal who smokes pot.

  There are two requirements for all leading characters in a movie and you must incorporate those into your screenplay: All main characters must be attractive and they must be good at something. This will make the audience like them.

  Look at Good Will Hunting. If Will Hunting didn't look like Matt Damon and he wasn't a genius, he'd just be kind of a dick. Or what about Titanic? It stars Jack, a good looking dude whose talent is tricking Kate Winslet into getting naked.

  So describe your character as ruggedly handsome and make him talented and you've created a nuanced, marketable lead character.

  SIDE NOTE: Consider replacing the I's in your character's name with Y's to make them more memorable.

  But it isn't enough to just describe your character with a couple words and hope the reader interprets the character correctly. What if they skip over those couple words and don't realize your main character is attractive? That could be a major disaster.

  Thankfully, our toolbox of master level techniques has an answer for this. The key to creating characters the reader understands is to use word association. Surround your character with words that reflect how you want them to be viewed. Let's look at an example:

  As a reader, what is one word you would associate with our character Clive?

  Did you say 'nice?' I thought so.

  Even a reader burning through your script while picking up their boss' dry cleaning and searching for discreet massage parlors will read:

  Nice guy Clive... pats... shoulder... nice gesture... niceness.

  And that's close enough! By describing Clive and everything Clive-related with the world 'nice' we've established him as a nice character. Nice.

  This example, however, is fairly simplistic. After all, if you do this in every piece of action description, the reader may catch on after 40 or 50 pages.

  So let's take it to the master level and use different words. To find these different words, let's go back to our co-pilot Dr. Thesaurus. Punch in the word 'nice' and watch the magic happen:

  Now the reader is subconsciously on the hero's side thanks to the power of word association.

  SIDE NOTE: This technique works outside of screenwriting as well. If you're flirting with a girl, say friendly words out loud so she associates you with them in her mind. “Hello, it's NICE to meet you. You're WELCOME to come home with me, I'm KIND of horny.”

  Now let's extrapolate on what you learned about word association to other parts of your screenplay. If word association is how readers subconsciously interpret a screenplay, it is your job as writer to use words to give your scenes a specific tone. And as with everything screenwriting related, that means sometimes getting creative.

  Are you trying to create a feeling of horror in your scene? Why not use the word 'decriptic.' Now you've accomplished two things: you've established a horror atmosphere and you've sounded smart by using a word the reader doesn't know.

  Some of you Puritans will respond with “decriptic isn't a word.” If that was your response, I'd like to reiterate my earlier point: welcome to the 21st century. This isn't your dad's literature of old where words have strict definitions that must be understood to comprehend the story.

  This is screenwriting in the digital age. Your screenplay is merely a suggestion of a movie and words merely suggestion meaning. Perception is reality in 21st century writing and whatever the reader believes your script to be is what it is.

  So in addition to creating your own words, remember there are also words to avoid. These are words that have technical definitions different from what they sound like. Keep in mind readers are often too dumb to know these words and too busy/lazy to look them up.

  Examples of words to NOT use:

  Inflammable: The actual definition is “easily set on fire” but it looks like it means “unable to be set on fire.” Using this word is setting up your reader for a world of confusion.

  Fungible: The actual definition refers to goods or money that can be replaced by equivalent items. In 21st century screenwriting it means “fungus-y.”

  Restive: If you think this word means something is relaxing, congratulations, your vocabulary is at the exact level of the film school dropout reading your screenplay. Be sure not to improve your vocabulary any
more at the risk of alienating yourself from your audience.

  THE CHARACTER ARC

  Many writers find they struggle with portraying growth in their main character. A writer's fear of coming across as heavy-handed causes them to write too subtextually or their fear of not getting their point across causes them to write too heavy-handedly. But character arcs are not something to be intimidated by. As you've learned, all elements of screenwriting can be taught and that is exactly what's going to happen!

  As with many of the other topics, I am sure all of you expert level writers are familiar with the idea of a character arc thanks to whatever garbage screenwriting book you read before this or whatever garbage screenwriting class you wasted thousands of dollars attending. But let's dig in deeper.